Okay. So I went to the drug dealer's yesterday. I prayed, as usual, that I would say what was needed in a way he would understand and that we would both be guided to the right treatments. I told him how my anxiety has improved drastically. I told him it's now a 3 instead of a 10. Then I told him that while the anxiety has moved to stage right, now my OCD has taken center stage. This is pretty normal, that once one illness is under control another pops up for attention. These illnesses are in the same vein and are contolled by the same brain chemical. Lack of Seretonin has always been my key issue. I don't sruggle too much with depression (I said, not too much!) and thanks to my HORRIBLE Hulk incident I no longer have to convince myself that ADD is the reason for all my woes. See, I always thought I was forgetful, scatterbrained etc., etc., due to ADD. But it turns out my brain was always stuck in obsessive looping thoughts and it was also trying to deal with level ten anxiety all the time so I couldn't keep my thoughts/life together.
Okay, now that I have bored you with the mumbo jumbo... He's upping one of my meds to help it address the OCD. The same drugs treating my anxiety will treat the OCD just using higher dosages. Also, he still may put me on a touch of Ritalin to help me hone my thoughts and focus more although he nor I believe I have ADD. This drug and the like can be helpful to people even without ADD contrary to popular belief. P.S.-Ritalin is a much lighter stimualant than the stuff I was taking as the Hulk.
Finally! I'm seeing this process all the way through and it's paying off! I'm almost to the fine tuning stage! Then I should be on the perfect mix for my chemical brain makeup and all will be well til' the drug companies screw with stuff so they can become richer. Okay, that doom and gloom thinking is my level 3 anxiety talkin'!
Here's to mental wellness! It's worth the long, hard road! And it's much faster when you stay on that road no matter how bumpy it gets!
14 comments:
Alert Alert! What is this? Call me. I am totally wide awake.
What is your number? Dont know where my directory is!
I'm totally awake, too! In fact, I saw Court and her dad at Walmart not too long ago :) We could have a late night get together.
Shel-
I'm all about the late night get together! As usual, I'll bring a pound cake. It's about to get crazy!
Is this what happens after I go to bed?
Hey, I want to be included too! I'm still up!
I am so glad your drugs are starting to work out for you. Ethan has been on ritalin and it has helped. He still has a lot of issues to deal with but his meds are a help.
Good luck, Nat. Sometimes it takes a while with meds to start being able to learn new behaviors. At least with me.
I'm so sad I was not fully aware of these late night invites til' this morning! That would have been a blast resulting in all of us being too tired to be nice to our families on Christmas Eve! Oh wait--that's probably just me.
I love these posts. They are fascinating to me because I think I have some of what you have...I've just never known it. When you talked about the obsessive looping thoughts...I have done that for YEARS. I didn't know it wasn't normal...but I did know it was making me sort of crazy. Thanks for your openness about this. It's helping me.
Hi Liz! I found your blog through Laura Clutter's. Don't ya love the blogging world!? It's so fun to catch up with everyone from our Sugar Land days. We do love CO, though. How is Sarah? Does she have a blog? Drop me an email if you want(rhondajzap@yahoo.com) & I'll invite you to my blog.
Rhonda Loertscher
I ended up going to bed at about 2 and getting back up at 6 a.m. to start cooking my turkey and all the fixins' for our family get together today, yeah we had our Christmas Ho Down a day early since James and Ben's brother had to get his kiddos to their mom (no bueno!)... I so would've partied with y'all though! I was hangin' out with my nieces and nephews and they probably got good and sick of my old 80's humor and antics! Court, I'm up for pound cake anytime!
A Very Merry Christmas to You!
i wouldn't know, but it seems like getting the right mix is always a struggle with mental illness. i really hope that you've found it! happy holidays!
hey girl! glad to hear that your meds are working for ya. i'll have to get used to the mentally well liz....she may not like me as much so i'm kind of nervous. =) hope you had a good christmas and no doing anything fun without me! love ya
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