Okay. So Jared is BEYOND obsessed about this mouse. Last night, as I was trying to fall asleep he kept running into our bedroom to give me a play by play of the mouse eating the poison he had layed out for it. He was practically counting the bites! Then he was giving me stats on how long it would take for the poison to take action and where the mouse might go and what he might do during his last hours. I was trying to sleep. I could not concern myself.
Then, in the midst of my five hour nap today, he had the nerve to burst in and inform me that he has since learned that the mouse may go into our wall to die and this would stink! He was freaking out! I had to look at the clock at my bedside to be sure of what was happening. "You're home at 1:00......in the afternoon?" Jared NEVER comes home during the day. Never. If he has no money for lunch he will count out pennies for a convenient store hot dog. This guy hates to come home mid-day. This was unprecedented! I'm still groggily trying to make heads or tails of his presence and he is in the kitchen, power tools a-blazin'. He is removing parts of our dishwasher! He has got the oven pulled out into the center of the kitchen. I'm walking in, rubbing my eyes saying,"You came home for the mouse? You're home to check on your mouse?" He looks at me, the wild eyes are back and he says, very very seriously,"Liz, this is very important,I need you to buy a trap today. I don't want that mouse to die in our walls and stink!" Then he proceeds to tell me all the factoids about killing a rat that he has apparently learned from his friends...."Lance says they get drunk on this stuff and wander into strange places to die!" "Don says they can fit into a hole the width of a pencil!--a pencil Liz!" (He uses his hand to make a circle the size of a pencil tip just in case I'm not sure) I'm now realizing he has been talking about nothing but this mouse to everyone he knows for the past 24 hours. His poor friends/boss/co-workers. He's back to the trap now. "Liz, I really need you to buy this trap! Not the little flimsy ones. It has to be a really good trap!!" Okay babe, okay, I can do that, a trap, got it." He continues to stare at me with crazy eyes and is scaring me just a little. Then, he grabs all the convenience foods he can find in the pantry, and leaves. So now, I'm out to search for the world's best mouse trap. Hope Wal-mart has it cuz that's as much as I'm lookin'!
9 comments:
I totally had to call my sister and tell her to read your post. We are both laughing hysterically.
I knew it... Bonkers!!! You could sell tickets to the show. It is too funny reading this. I can't wait to hear the rest.
p.s. did you know that mice really do squeal.. we bought the "humane" traps that are sticky cuz James was worried that the other ones might be messy and one night that darn mouse got 'partially' stuck and James wasn't home! Well, it freaked the mouse out (naturally) and it screamed it's bloody guts out under the counter of our sink, therefore I began screaming my bloody guts out AGAIN and calling my dear friend so I could go to her house and flee the horror. No fun..
Liz, you are hilarious. That's all I've gotta say. Oh, and I also have to say I really hope the mouse doesn't die in the wall. I'm sorry but I have to take Jared's side on this. When we lived in Houston (you know, back in the day when all you and I did was play with Barbies), a mouse died in our wall and I can still remember how bad it stunk. And I was only like 7. So, go and find that trap, sister.
I can't stop laughing because it so reminds me of something Gary would do/has done. Good luck on your mouse hunt.
You need a hidden camera. We all need to see Jared go crazy!
I have never had a mouse in the house (knock on wood), and hope I never do. I would probably become a wild eyed crazy person like Jared!
This is way more interesting than the book I am reading. I need the next installment! Hilarious! (And good luck)
That is HILARIOUS!! I hope that you are victorious in finding the invader soon, and kick him out the door- in a pine box!
this just keeps getting better and better. not for you of course but its entertaining the rest of us! (travis read this and he said quote "I don't get it, what's the big deal it just a mouse, its not like its a spider or a cockroach." Yes, yes he did. He just compared a mouse to a spider or cockroach. see what a crazy i've got?)
Peanut butter on a sticky trap. Gets them every time.
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