I am having a dilemma. Harris seems to have a lot of anxiety...no surprise. He is, after all, my child. But a great amount of this anxiety seems to be centered around P.E. His Coach is an uptight disciplinarian who loves to hear himself yell and while he never singles Harris out, Harris still gets yelled at on a group scale every Monday, Tuesday and Friday. Add to this the fact that his physical limitations are becoming more and more apparent the older he and his classmates get. For example, most first graders can't hula hoop so he didn't stick out like a sore thumb. But in second grade, most of the kids are able to do this and a whole lot of others things (jump roping to name another) that he cannot. I think this adds to his stress levels about P.E.
Now, we all had some yacko for a gym teacher with coach shorts pulled up so high we wondered if that couldn't be contributing to his foul mood (mine was a certain Mr. McNabb who I lovingly nicknamed Mr McNadds as an adult.) And I want Harris to learn to adapt and do all that he is able, even when it is hard and causes him to stretch a little...or a lot. But this is becoming an ordeal if you will. He cries about it no less than four times a day EVERYDAY! He loses sleep and has asked for two blessings. I already had the school nurse who is a good friend of mine and Harris' self-appointed voice up at the school go talk to Coach Hall for me. Coach Hall says that Harris seems fine in P.E. and someone must be putting ideas in his head. Yeah, he really said that! So now I'm trying to decide what to do next.
I thought I'd poll the network of incredible friends who I rub elbows with in blog land. Do you think I should:
1) Go have a talk with Coach Hall myself.
2) Request he opt out of P.E. all together. He could attend Art and Music which he loves in its place. And besides, he gets exercise via his bike and weekly aquatic therapy.
3) Request he be a special helper in P.E. who can count off jumping jacks and time things rather than have to struggle to keep up with the physical stuff.
4) Leave it alone..this too shall pass.
11 comments:
That's a tough one. I know this is a cop out, but I think you know Harris better than anyone in the world. Figure out what's best for him (to get out entirely) or to stick with it even though it's hard on him (you talk to the Coach and figure out how to make it more bearable without Harris knowing?) Then you do what needs to be done to make that happen. I am happy to do some research and send a nasty letter as your attorney to substantiate that the Coach is out of line and needs to make special accommodations (if you want) or if there's trouble. :-)
Bridget
PS-Harris is old enough you might ask him--although he might just say "get me out, I hate it" and sometimes what we want isn't what's best for us. Ultimately I would pick something then ask God if he agrees.
Dude...I'm about to go down and share a few select words with Coach Hall myself!
I suggest a combo of 1-3. Number 4? Not even an option.
If Harris is stressing about it, then you have the right as a mom to request a P/T conference. When you meet with the coach (and any others who participate in creating Harris' curriculum), you can outline your suggestions.
Go get 'em girl!
I pick option 1 & 2. The comment he made about someone putting ideas in his head is uncalled for & insulting. You are a VERY good communicator & would get that point across in a very professional manor. He needs to hear from you that yelling like that, regardless of any child's limitations, is not appropriate. I understand the need for any child to be put in situations that will stretch themselves but in Harris' case; are hula hooping & jumping rope life skills that he needs? I know that Harris has plenty of social anxieties & opting out of PE for an alternative that he enjoys & will be productive for him might be a great choice. Anyway, those are my two cents.
I say, go and watch the PE class a few times and see what this coach does. then give him a talking to.
Do you guys really get PE that often? We only get it once a week.
I agree with Emily- go watch a couple classes so you can see exactly what is going on in P.E. Then you can talk to Coach Hell... I mean Hall, and take appropriate action if needed! My worst P.E. coach was butch (um, yeah) and walked around to make sure all the girls showered after class. Can you say Gross!?!
I agree about going and watching class, or just sitting outside unseen and listening to what is going on. Being unseen will give you the most realistic view of what is occuring, if he sees you he will alter his style....Truthfully, if he is yelling at Harris he isn't the only kid he is doing it to. If that is the case then the P.E. teacher is grossly out of line. Period. School needs to be BOTH physically AND an emotionally safe place. That is the teachers job too!
You then follow the chain of command. Speak to the coach.
Speak to the coach and the principle.
Speak to the district.
Speak to the media.
All the while you make sure that they know up front that you are willing to go as far and as high up as necessary to make this okay for your son. Knowing that you are in the RIGHT!! Bridget is right the law, and ethics are behind you!
His actions are unacceptable for Harris and ALL the kids in that class.
Go get um! ( with the eye of the tiger! HAHA)
Wow, you have smart friends. I had my idea of what I would say in my comment and then I read the others and was like, "whoa, I should have thought of that." I definitely think #4 should be tossed because if this situation is causing Harris so much anxiety - for his and your sake - something needs to be compromised. I definitely think observation of the class and a talk with the Coach might shed some light on the situation. I personally think option #3 sounds great - Harris can stay in P.E. but not have to be subjected to the activities that are causing him stress.
ADAPTIVE PE. Your school is supposed to be providing it. You need to ask for an ARD. Go to the special ed department and demand an adaptive PE teacher. Your district should have one. The schools are legally obligated and I'm really surprised he hasn't ever had one. It's PE for kids with physical limitations and disabilities. I know because they were going to put Ethan in Adaptive PE but then opted for having the adaptive PE teacher instruct the regular ed pe teacher on what his limitations are etc. I agreed with this because Ethan doesn't have many physical limitations. But if they were considering it with Ethan, I'm sure Harris would qualify. We've had several meetings regarding it. I'm really surprised the district has never suggested it. You may have to raise a stink but the problem is the district not providing Harris with the proper PE program. The one they are legally obligated to provide. You need to kick some district butt!
well i would say to a mix of what you want see if Harris can go to PE just one day a week that way he still can be in PE but not have to deal with a mean couch 3 days a week. Ask for an ARD so the principle is there when you talk to the couch that way there is no problem coming up because you just talked to the couch.
Um, I'm pretty sure the source of Harris's anxiety is that game he's holding. Remember that thing? It's like Operation in reverse, with a timer. Gee...
Oh, and I just want to note that Mr. McNabb's nickname around Petrosky was Mr. McNugget. And we used to play Garbage Ball. And I had his wife, Mrs. McNugget, for first grade. And there was a traffic signal in the lunch room. And I'll never forget the smell of the lunch line. And all those "Don't Tread on Me" flags.
well, my advice is as good as what nixon leaves in my back yard to the right of my house... poo.
i'm glad you have smart, legally savvy, experienced friends. i, on the other hand, would just keep harris home from school and watch cartoons with him as the cookies he just asked me to bake are in the oven. that boy steals my heart. i'm glad he has you as his mom to be his advocator so that he can get the most outta life.
coach hall- beware!!
go tell him who's boss, liz!
LIZ, LIZ, LIZ, LIZ.... (picture me standing behind you chanting and shaking my fist in the air as you walk in the gym)
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