to get mentally well.
-Liz Pabst
It is so worth it and yet so incredibly frustrating. I sometimes wonder if there is even a point. I really feel one of my callings in life is to help people with a similar plight so my perserverence is to prevent me from being a hypocite once I get that degree and preach to the choir (for money, no less) It's like my favorite guy on my favorite show, Intervention. His name is Ken Seely and I have a wicked crush on him. Anyway some stupid girl addicted to Crystal Meth was running her mouth at him and told him he knew nothing about Crystal Meth and then he told her he had overcome a five year addiction to it. It was awesome.
So I'm just starting to notice a little less anxiety but of course it comes with a price. The price is typically the price of the drugs which I have managed to keep at a decent minimum in spite of my horrible health insurance. The other price is side effects and I am paying big time! My sleep is so crazy. I cannot sleep at night and I sleep all day. Many of you are probably thinking,"Is that all? That's my life everyday!" And as soon as I determine that this is the best my drugs will get, I will surrender to it being my life everyday as well. Then I can make needed adjustments. These adjustments will most likely be called: sleep all day and stay up all night, but somehow through His grace still manage to take care of my kids and calling.
Don't let me depress you. I am just venting. My day was actually pretty productive. I went to Sarah's and took care of Minni so Sarah could move furniture and switch around the kids' rooms. I can only describe my time with Minni as utter elation. She is so precious and cute and good for my soul. I came home and got most of my laundrey done. That's a big deal because it takes an entire day to clean ALL of our laundrey but I prefer to do it all at once for some strange reason. (I think I'm into self-torture) I made dinner and my kids even ate it. They all got their homework done and the boys took a bath. I didn't feel nearly as anxious as I normally do when the soapy water slides down my arms onto my elbows(I hate this feeling!) I typically feel lots of angst and anxiety during all evening duties. Dinner, baths, homework, chores, scriptures, prayer, Harris' mace, these all typically stress me out and land me on the couch by 9:30 never to move until morning. Seriously, I won't wash my face or brush my teeth or get undressed or anything...I will just crash. It's quite ridiculous really. When Jared doesn't do the same thing he will carry me to bed. But we can often be found on the couches, fully dressed, with all the lights on, asleep. Whacked, I know.
But tonight, I didn't feel so anxious and annoyed. It is a sign of improvement. We also had family night and it was very succesful, and hilarious.
I read them a book that is put out by a member of the church about where babies come from. I try to educate them alot about this stuff because the world they live in is CONSTANTLY educating them incorrectly. I'll just give you one great phrase out of each of my babes' mouths.
Faith: Mom! When do you and Dad do that? Is it when we are ASLEEP? (Add to this the look of utter betrayal)
Ethan: Mom, the correct word for penis is bladder.
Harris: Can we talk about something besides weenies? (I NEVER used that word by the way.)
21 comments:
I am laughing so hard about "the book" right now that I have probably awakened everyone in the house (or at least haunted their dreams)! I still remember the looks on my girls faces when we read the same book. Libby reacted with disgust and asked, "Why would people do THAT if they aren't trying to make a baby?"(question posed in response to a discussion on unplanned teenage pregnancy). Kirsten acted like she did not hear or understand what we were talking about and after a VERY brief discussion she asked if we were done talking and could she leave? Honestly, the discussions that we had with each of the girls were at times quite spiritual in nature. After all, procreation is a God-given gift....a part of "the plan of salvation".
Oh yeah...as you can see I am not sleeping at night either! Glad to hear your anxiety is down. It really sounds like you had a pretty great day. Cheers to great days!!
Your kids are freaks.
And that picture is gorgeous.
And I hate the soapy elbow feeling a lot.
And you are doing great!
What book is that? Rachel and I are curious. I mean...we know about weenies and stuff, but we'll have to have those talks someday and I worry about that stuff already. I just read a terrible article in TIME about how teenagers these days are doing all sorts of horrible things with their cell phones. It scares the junk out of me.
Firsst of all Liz, that picture of you is beautiful. Also, I too think you calling in life is to help others with similar problems. You've helped us. I know that sleepiness as a side effect can take a lot out of you. I wish I had known you've been up at night. Yesterday I took a nap and then couldn't fall asleep until 6am this morning!!! We could've talked on the phone or something.
Also, I love Ethans comment. You just never know what he is going to say.
I laughed out loud about that book and your kids' reactions. That's priceless. (And awesome, by the way.)
What book is this? For my MLS, we had to read and discuss one of those often-challenged books about where babies come from. Frankly, I thought it was pretty decent. There are worse things in the library that could be challenged, believe me.
I <3 your poem and that picture is v. cute.
That extra "e" you love to put in laundry goes on the end of Minnie.
Excellent work--you just kicked Monday's tail! (I'm trying not to use profanity...wish me luck.)
And once again, I think the way you share your experiences with everyone is spot on. You just described every mother's angst experienced daily from 3-8 pm.
And I totally support you getting your degree. With or without a bedazzler, you would be great in the mental health profession.
Sleeping all day and up all night - sounds like my life - I think its funny if you look at half of the people's comments to your blog they were in the middle of the night! I am glad you are doing better, give your body time to get used to the drugs. . it will get better.
And congrats on reading "the book" to your kids - I am SO not ready for that!
BTW- u need to add me to your bloglist so I can look important. :)
Hey, I am up all night (and I don't sleep during the day) - feel free to give me a call!
Shane told me the other night that he remembers coming home from church dances and seeing his parents all cozy in bed and thinking disgustedly, "You probably LIKE it when we're gone!" So it was funny to read Faith's comment coupled with a look of betrayal.
Shane feels her pain. :) And that poem is fantastic. You should get it published.
I love your poem! Short and powerful.
Thanks for sharing all of your adventures. I love reading them.
Look at you, Miss Popularity! You get so many comments, I love it.
You totally had me laughing at the FHE comments. Too funny.
I'm glad things are getting better - wish they were perfect. I can't believe how much you accomplish in a day!
P.S. Love the picture of you.
i love the kids comments!!! and I hate to sound redundant but it is a very pretty picture!
Drew - DO NOT say weenies. You disgust me. And, just so you know, I have yet to use a book. I just tell them whenever they ask, and they have already said, "Daddy does that to YOU?" Maybe a book is a good idea. But you know how my kids talk...
The word verification today is "quablemb." It makes me want to say, "What's the quablemb?" or "What's YOUR quablemb?" or "Got a quablemb?"
Jen-LOL about your word verification quablemb! I am obsessed with connecting word verifications with the post I am reading. It's a fabulous pasttime. So "sonindhe" this!
Amen to your poem!
Oh my goodness you are so right about all the crud kids are hearing, learning, outside of the home it's just ridiculous. It's times like these that I think I need a blog or at least a lunch date with the girls to vent! Poor Aaron is home from school today because he is so overwhelmed with a kid (and a few others he says) that hang around him like they are his friends, but he doesn't like it AT ALL because they are crude and cuss and are just no bueno. He said he's been trying to shake them but he can't... it's disturbing him so much he came completely unglued last night. He told me the only time he is comfortable is on Wed. nights and Sundays when he can be with his church friends... gosh it's making me cry again. He just broke my heart. He is so tender hearted and has such a sweet spirit he can't take it when people are making bad choices. He asks me to homeschool him CONSTANTLY... I wanted to just snatch him out of the nasty wicked world he felt like he was trapped in, but then again I want him to know he can handle it, too... Ugh... help me guys.. I need my friends :(
Um, ok,, my word verification is. and I quote "whora".. is this a sign????
p.s. Aaron would say that he is blessed to have lunch with two very good friends from church Matthew D. and Jake O. and he really looks forward to that break in is day, but I'm sure he hasn't said a word to either of them about his feelings or what is going on with these other thugs.. he's just been holding it in not knowing what to do. He said he's been "trying to be nice to them". Probably because we always talk about being examples, but it's wearing on him.
Maybe we should do a joint family FHE and give that book another ride!! What did J say? Did he learn any thing?
You look smokin in that picture BTW.
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