This is me wearing Gabe's Saturn ring! This was all in an effort to get him to wear it for even a second so his mom could snap a picture. This is the ridiculous color my green hair has faded to and I loathe it! But my sisters say I'm addicted to changing my hair and that I never ever like it so there ya go--lost cause!
Halloween was super fun and I'll post pics of my kids as soon as my neighbor who took some gives them to me! (I'm a loser mom whose camera isn't working but truly, it's probably user-error because I'm clueless. I only graduated from the wind-up, disposable green cameras a few months ago!)
Sunday was a bittersweet day for me. I was released as Primary President after 2 years and 4 months of being served by those awesome little kids. I love em' all, even that grouchy red-head who will never sing the songs! I get to team teach the thirteen year-olds now with a smart, funny, fabulous girl that I visit teach so I'm super excited. I just hope I can talk to them like they're teenagers, not sunbeams. We'll see.
My new meds are really helping put a cap on my anxiety. The only downside is just that, they are down-ers and I'm used to being hopped up on anxiety or legal speed so I'm sleeping alot and feeling under-stimulated and under-whelmed. Maybe that aspect will just take some getting used to or maybe another drug should be added/subtracted/replaced. My drug dealer--I mean psychiatrist is getting his Christmas paid for by me!
And so I continue on the train ride of mental illness trying to get to my destination of mental wellness and trying to laugh at the crappy but oft times amusing parts along the way. Once I reach that destination I'm going to celebrate (and prove) my mental wellness by doing one thing from the following list of things that have always caused me extreme and I mean EX-TREME amounts of anxiety. I'm talking about the kind that sends me to the toilet! And I'm not talkin' about stuff comin' out the pretty end! So take a look at my list and cast a vote for the one you think I should do, if you feel so inclined! Thank you my home-skillets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1) Touching any animals, except most dogs and some cats. I dry-heave at the zoo! What's with wart hogs? What is their purpose?
2) Having people in my home. I always say I'd rather stand on a chair naked and let you examine me than have you into my house! That should tell you how invasive it feels to me!
3) Driving a stick shift. I got in a wreck when I was pregnant with Faith and had to have reconstructive surgery on what the ambulance driver called a "lip flap"! Yeah-not pretty!
4) Not washing my hands after touching anything greezy! Okay, this is probably an OCD, but when I cook bacon, I scrub my hands after every encounter with that oily nastiness! Greezey hands will somehow lead to more zits! I just know it!
5) Being home alone. I do it all day when my kids are at school (and still get scared!) but nighttime---fah-get about-it!!!
6) Dying my hair any color other than blonde! It has been part of my identity for so long and while I'd love to try brown or red hair I just don't think I can pull it off like I could and did as a teenager. Maybe I never did pull it off as a teenager but you couldn't have convinced me of that! Maybe I'm not even pulling off blonde hair! Oh-now I feel anxious!
7) Learning anything new! Anything at all. I feel the need to know every little fact about that subject and then start incorporating it into my life. I was much happier when I knew nothing at all about living green/kiegal exercises/behavior modification/shutterfly scrapbooks/blogging-okay, that one I'm working through!
12 comments:
Dear home-skillet,
When your rockin' soul train reaches the final destination, my vote is for none of the above. I think you should throw a party. The great thing about hosting a party is that no one actually stays the night at your house. No washing sheets, no cleaning out under the beds, no making sure you have delicious items for a breakfast smorgasbord in the fridge (thereby eliminating the greasy bacon hands dilemma--I'm with you on that one), and no getting up crazy early to get ready before all the house-guests come downstairs to pretend you look that fantastic every Saturday morning. A party is definitely the perfect solution. I'll bring pound cake.
xoxo Court
Good luck with all that, as Jerry Seinfeld would say! I tell you what, that mental illness is a
b!@#$. I hope it doesn't take too much longer for you to reach your goal of mental wellness, and when you get there I think you should dye your hair. It's fun and you don't have to worry about people coming into your home and messing things up. I think you would look awesome with really dark hair. The first time I saw Ashley Judd she was blonde and I thought she was really pretty, but then when she dyed her hair dark she became a smokin' hottie. Not that you aren't already a smokin' hottie, but you would get to experience a whole new world, and get lots of attention from people telling you how gorgeous you look.
I'm so glad to see a picture of you on the blog. How many years has it been since we've seen each other? Too many, but regardless, you still look like the same stinkin' cute Liz I've always known. Honestly, you haven't changed and you look cute, even with a saturn ring on your noggin. I bet you were such a great Primary Pres. It had to be such a busy calling but maybe it's a good time for a "break" although I don't know if I would call teaching 13 year olds a real break. Finally, I think whatever you do when your meds get under control should be FUN...like planning a trip to Utah, what about that? You could move in with me and help me figure out why on earth I am having another baby. But if that doesn't work for you, my vote is to dye your hair.
I caught a gimps of what ya'll go through with anxiety... I took a pill for something & the side effect (for me) was super bad anxiety. It was horrible & I couldn't live with it. The pill was doing what it was supposed to do otherwise but I had to go off of it because I was literally afraid to be alone with my babies. I know-- I'm totally a downer on this light & funny post. But I gained a new appreciation for what mentally ill people go through, only mine was SO short term. I'm sorry-- thank goodness for drug dealers, I mean psychiatrists. Here's to mental health!
My vote is for you to host a "hair party" at your house (have Johnnie what's her name come in for the event). It would be a two for one deal. You get new hair with the support of loving friends close by eating yummy food and chatting in your happy home. I personally am ready to change my hair to red for the fall! You can lock all of the bedrooms! Simply clean the main area and one toilet and you are set for the party. I love to party and would be happy to help you prep it...if you dare to let me in your home! I will bring meatballs.
i never notice a grouchy redhead who won't sing the songs!
Hmmm let me think... when you reach your destination I'm thinkin' PARTY... yeah.... Court had it right.. I'm always up for a party.... and you know it's gonna bring out some good ole' laughin' and celebrating the wellness!!! Actually you don't even have to have it at your house... I will offer mine :) I need a reason to get off my butt and get it cleaned, so lets party!
Shel-
p.s. Court.. pound cake is a definite must!!
p.s.s. of course if you have any kind of party ie; hair, etc.. count me in.... :) I'd still offer my house.... ;)
No! No party. Now get up and cook some bacon, pet a cat, drive a stick to the salon and dye your hair!
OR you could just come over. I only have reduced fat Nilla wafers, but, hey, they're name-brand.
Seriously, it's good to have a goal of overcoming your fears. I'll have to figure out what mine are.
I have two cats and two guinea pigs you can come pet! A party sounds like more fun, though! (As long as I'm invited).
Laura,
There's no way you wouldn't be invited! Maybe instead of meatballs you could bring the guinea pigs! (for petting, not eating!)
If washing your hands after touching something greasy is mental illness then call me a doctor! I have to wash my hands anytime they feel greasy or after I handle any raw meat. That's just good hygeine!
Liz,
First of all you will be sorely missed in primary. You did such a fantastic job. You really loved those kids and it showed.
I think you should try something new. If you don't like it or it gets too overwhelming you can just stop. You can have so many great experiences if you try new things.
Thirdly, I also don't like greasy hands. I am constantly washing my hands when I cook. I don't think that is mentally ill I think it's just being clean.
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