Gotta Love Modern Medicine

Proof my meds are working:

1) I drove to the medical center, during rush hour, in the pouring rain, with Harris in the car asking me his same 5 questions, and.....I WAS FINE! I wasn't the least bit anxious. No white knuckles gripping the steering wheel, and no heart palpitations! I felt very calm and in control. Wow. Whole new feeling.

2) I've had a gazillion kids in my messy house all week to celebrate spring break with my kids and I've actually enjoyed it! I haven't stressed about the sound, sight or smell of my house. I haven't felt like I wanted to shut myself into my bedroom and hide or kick them all out. I've actually felt great joy in hanging out with my kids who are at a really great age, and their friends, who are some really great kids. I even joined in on some dancing and water fighting! It has been a blast! Wow! Joy! What a feeling!


3) I did some research on how to certify as a group fitness instructor and.....I was FINE! I didn't get all overwhelmed and start to panic that I needed to read every stitch of information ever written on the subject. I didn't let the long list of requirements knock the wind out of my sails. I didn't feel a sudden need to make it my whole life and be the best at it or anything. I didn't have an idenity crisis about where and how this would fit into my life. I was just able to reasearch something that interests me, and that could benefit my family, and take it all in stride! WOW! What a concept!


Yay for me! Yay for my drug dealer! Yay for medication! Yay for the Lord!
I still have a ways to go, but I have come so far!

Chain letter--kinda

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me!

I think I am the 5th winner on Laura's blog so now I must seal my win by posting this on my blog. I will give a handmade gift to the first five people who comment here and then agree to post this on their blog and carry on the homemade craziness. If you are far away, never fear! I am willing to ship it!

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2. It'll be done this year. Hopefully sooner than later.
3. You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be sewn, scrapbooky, baked, or it may be something totally random that I come up with on a whim. Who knows? Not you - until you receive your gift!
4. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? The catch is that you must repost this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog. Let's get those homemade gifts going! So, the first 5 people to leave a comment telling me they are doing it also, will receive a gift - made with my two hands! (Although you may be taking your chances with that...)Be sure to post pictures of what you won when you recieve it!

Improvisation

Ethan is my eternal optimist. I find it so endearing, yet he gets it from Jared so I know one day his wife will find it annoying and opposed to reality.

Anyway, today he and his friends on the street wanted to have a Lemonade stand.

His question: Do we have any lemonade mix?

My answer: No.

His solution: Make it from scratch with lemon juice, sugar and water.

His question: Do we have any posterboard?

My answer: No.

His solution: Write a sign on the back of a used piece of notebook paper.

His question: Do we have any paper cups?

My answer: No.

His solution: He put the lemonade in ziploc bags and sold them with toothpicks for popping the bag open and drinking.

A Poem

I am trying like hell

to get mentally well.

-Liz Pabst


It is so worth it and yet so incredibly frustrating. I sometimes wonder if there is even a point. I really feel one of my callings in life is to help people with a similar plight so my perserverence is to prevent me from being a hypocite once I get that degree and preach to the choir (for money, no less) It's like my favorite guy on my favorite show, Intervention. His name is Ken Seely and I have a wicked crush on him. Anyway some stupid girl addicted to Crystal Meth was running her mouth at him and told him he knew nothing about Crystal Meth and then he told her he had overcome a five year addiction to it. It was awesome.

So I'm just starting to notice a little less anxiety but of course it comes with a price. The price is typically the price of the drugs which I have managed to keep at a decent minimum in spite of my horrible health insurance. The other price is side effects and I am paying big time! My sleep is so crazy. I cannot sleep at night and I sleep all day. Many of you are probably thinking,"Is that all? That's my life everyday!" And as soon as I determine that this is the best my drugs will get, I will surrender to it being my life everyday as well. Then I can make needed adjustments. These adjustments will most likely be called: sleep all day and stay up all night, but somehow through His grace still manage to take care of my kids and calling.

Don't let me depress you. I am just venting. My day was actually pretty productive. I went to Sarah's and took care of Minni so Sarah could move furniture and switch around the kids' rooms. I can only describe my time with Minni as utter elation. She is so precious and cute and good for my soul. I came home and got most of my laundrey done. That's a big deal because it takes an entire day to clean ALL of our laundrey but I prefer to do it all at once for some strange reason. (I think I'm into self-torture) I made dinner and my kids even ate it. They all got their homework done and the boys took a bath. I didn't feel nearly as anxious as I normally do when the soapy water slides down my arms onto my elbows(I hate this feeling!) I typically feel lots of angst and anxiety during all evening duties. Dinner, baths, homework, chores, scriptures, prayer, Harris' mace, these all typically stress me out and land me on the couch by 9:30 never to move until morning. Seriously, I won't wash my face or brush my teeth or get undressed or anything...I will just crash. It's quite ridiculous really. When Jared doesn't do the same thing he will carry me to bed. But we can often be found on the couches, fully dressed, with all the lights on, asleep. Whacked, I know.

But tonight, I didn't feel so anxious and annoyed. It is a sign of improvement. We also had family night and it was very succesful, and hilarious.
I read them a book that is put out by a member of the church about where babies come from. I try to educate them alot about this stuff because the world they live in is CONSTANTLY educating them incorrectly. I'll just give you one great phrase out of each of my babes' mouths.

Faith: Mom! When do you and Dad do that? Is it when we are ASLEEP? (Add to this the look of utter betrayal)

Ethan: Mom, the correct word for penis is bladder.

Harris: Can we talk about something besides weenies? (I NEVER used that word by the way.)